Another for the "Don't be that person" file

So much of this comes down to a simple rule, as expressed by Wil Wheaton: Don't be a dick.

Really.

In "Don't Be a Dick" news, O'Reilly has just released a strong anti-harassment statement for their technical conferences, including putting the big freeze on "stalking, offensive comments, and unwanted sexual advances," and expressing the idea that if you ARE "that person" and the conference gets enough complaints about you, you may not be invited back.

Given the strong overlap between tech types and people who also like science fiction/fantasy/horror/gaming/comics/anime/etc., I would love to see sf conventions and conferences take a similar strong stand, up to and including the option to not invite certain guests back to their events year after year after year, despite repeated complaints.

It would be great to see fandom come together as a whole and say "No More. Enough. You--out of the con circuit."

Instead, we seem to have a group case of the Five Geek Social Fallacies, in which bad behavior is perpetually written off as "Oh that's just so-and-so being so-and-so."

Yeah, I'm a starry-eyed idealist sometimes. But in my dream sf con circuit, "just being so-and-so" isn't a "Get Out of Jail Free" card.

Corollary: having the following ALSO are not "Get Out of Jail Free" cards, IMAO: Asperger's or other diagnosis on the autism spectrum/mental illness/depression/social anxiety/GAD/[other illness here]/previous history of being abused.

But, but but... But NOTHING. Even if you can't understand the reason why a particular behavior of yours is skeevy and wrong, you CAN learn to not do it anymore. And if you don't, then the price is that we as a society can decide to not associate with you.

Jim Hines has a great post on Reporting Sexual Assault in SF/F that's an excellent compilation of resources, including a list of who to contact at various SF publishers, plus links to the Con Anti-Harassment Project, and the Back-Up Project.

Call me crazy, but I have this idea that we should be able to get together for one weekend and NOT be jerks, NOT foist unwanted attention on people, and NOT belittle each other.

We're all at convention X, Y, or Z because we want to have fun, right?

We're there to see and interact with the guests and other fans, right?

We're not there to be creepers, right?

We--the collective convention-running and convention-attending "we"--need to stop giving the creepers a free pass on their behavior, and if you're a creeper, you need to stop being one, lest you find yourself uninvited to fannish gatherings.

Who's with me?